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When “Happy Mother’s Day” makes your heart ache.

May 14, 2017

Hours to go, wishing it was less.

One day that feels like a month in time.

You have avoided people as much as possible because you dread that interaction that leads to the painful extension of “Happy Mother’s Day”; followed by the next dagger “What are you doing today?”

To those mothers who have buried their child.

To those mothers who never even received the chance to show their child what an amazing mother they were to be having lost them at, or shortly after birth.

To those who have stood at the graveside of their mother.

To those mothers who spent the day alone today, not by choice.

To those sons and daughters who wish they had the chance to spend time today with their mother.

To those mothers who children who are caught in the web of addiction.

To those mothers who truly need to hear that they are not a failure and that the heart they laid out for their child and has been wounded can and hopefully soon will be healed.

To those mothers who do not have a partner to help with the child raising, the running around, the household chores, the strain of balancing disciplinarian and nurturer, who simply feel tapped out and alone.

To those mothers whose husbands always made the day such a special day of celebration, but now you walk through this day alone as a mother and a widow.

To those fathers who have lost their partner, soul mate, mother to their children and now painfully ache on this day knowing if you could you would make it 24 hours of everything special for the one you wish you had one more day with.

To those who simply ache today and have agonizingly pulled yourself through most of it but need strength to crawl through the last few hours.

Know you are not alone.

Please know that all of the well wishers, the posts you see, the people out celebrating, the gifts and flowers being bought are not surrounding you to cause you pain they are such bittersweet reminders of a day in the past, of what has been loved and lost and what is now only in your memory and heart.

No, it is not fair.

Yes it is painful.

However, you are one of many, contrary to your belief. Here within your corner of the world there are others who are looking at the clock just like you wishing you could will it forward faster.

Before you knew pain, He knew pain and so did she. Mary watched her baby boy grow, walk, run, speak, teach, lead and rise to The One that was chosen to lead a nation. Then she watched him unjustly convicted, suffer, abused and killed.

They put His limp and lifeless body in her arms and she uncontrollably sobbed. Her body throbbed with pain holding the one that held her heart.

I know you know that emotion.   I feel you understand that pain.

He understands your agony and so does His mother.

Know you are in the hearts, thoughts, and arms of those who understand with empathy not just sympathy.

Close your eyes and feel the love that can only come from those who have walked your walk.

Open your heart to know that days like this are extremely painful reminders of a love that you were blessed to have, hold and feel.

May that love, and the love of the One who created you, fill your aching heart and help you through the remainder of this day.

May these words let you know that you are not the only one who has struggled through this day.

Know you are loved my friend and if you need to be reminded that you are not being punished, you are not a failure, you were not created to fail, to suffer or to spend life grieving; I will passionately and emphatically remind you of that with a call, a text, an email, or over a cup of green tea.

Like the pain, today will pass. My prayer is that you are stronger for having loved as only a parent, partner, or child could have loved that special one that was blessed to you. Hold on to what has made you better for that love, let go of what the expectation of the day that this world communicates and know that you are in the eyes, arms and prayers of those above you and those around you that understand how hard this day was.

May you heart beat stronger and your passion be greater feeling that comfort and may you awake tomorrow still feeling that love.

I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace.  In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” ~ John 16:33

“It is time to teach society on how to be empathetic with people grieving.”
~ Nathalie Himmelrich

Wishing you peace,

Terri O’Neill-Borders

Hope and Friendship Foundation
721 Hickory St, Lemont, IL  60439

“Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves, for the rights of all who are destitute.  Speak up and judge fairly; defend the rights of the poor and needy.”
Proverbs 31: 8-9


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