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Holy Wednesday aka. “Spy Wednesday”. The heartbreaking feeling of betrayal.

April 12, 2017

“The worst pain in the world goes beyond the physical. Even further beyond any other emotional pain one can feel. It is the betrayal of a friend.” ~ Heather Brewer

I have often wondered if the 12 Disciples knew what a gift they had been given.  Did they realize that they were main characters in a book that would continue being told for thousands of years?  I know that they often just didn’t “get it” raising the blood pressure of Jesus when He was trying so passionately to communicate a message that their minds simply couldn’t grasp, yet there were times that Jesus was just thrilled with the breakthroughs and the correct answers to His soul searching questions.  The friendship that was formed over the years they spent with each other was of the deepest definition of bonding.  They ate together, traveled together, visited the sick as a team, stood as a unit when the Pharisees challenged and provoked Jesus.  They were the clear and true definition of “BFF” before the acronym was coined.  Do you have someone or some who you would consider yourself bonded to?  Do they know when you are smiling through the pain?  Do they stand next to you when you need support, behind you when you are needing a nudge and in front of you when you are being pelted by the world or it’s “Pharisees”? How would you feel if they betrayed you? Or maybe this has happened and you are completely related with Jesus right now.

Today one of Jesus’s select Bffs decided the riches of the world in his hands were more valuable than the wealth of riches that were already his and in his presence.  Judas conspired with those who were threatened by this man who spread peace, love, healing and spoke of His Kingdom inviting all who heard Him.  Judas betrayed his “friend” for 30 pieces of silver, roughly 120 days wages at that time.  He was the link they needed to begin the process that would lead to the death of the Son of God.

Have you felt your heart break hearing, seeing, or experiencing the gut wrenching feeling of trust leaving a relationship?

Have you been the betrayer?  Did you step into the situation feeling you were doing the right thing for yourself and later realize you’ve made a horrible mistake?

Judas didn’t get to spend, save, or enjoy that four months of wages because it was shortly after he committed the betrayal that he realized the graveness of his actions to a man who only showed him compassion, respect, trust and love.  Judas couldn’t live with himself or his action. Betrayal is an action that will eat at your soul.

Jesus would’ve forgiven him.  Why?  How?  Because as we know this was foretold.  Jesus knew if it wouldn’t have been Jesus it would’ve been another. To understand our pain, to pay the price for our sins Jesus knew His hours were numbered but to look in the face of one you love and know it’s the face of the one who traded your life for a fee had to be the first of the wounds that Jesus would suffer this week.

Around the same time the greatest pain was felt, Jesus was also a recipient of the greatest act of love and respect. Jesus’s dear friend, Mary, sat at His feet took the most valuable possession she had owned and poured the whole pint of this incredible performed ointment on the feet that would soon walk a most difficult journey, then she used her hair to wipe the ointment in and freshen the feet of the one that unconditionally loved her, her sister and her brother through life and death. The entire home had to be filled with the most amazing smell bringing everyone’s senses to full alert of the moment they were experiencing, simultaneously Jesus’ heart was filled with love and compassion for those who choose to honor him with such a privileged and humbling act. Everything stopped as Jesus took seized the opportunity to be in this beautiful moment. Ironically, Judas was present and protested the demonstration of respect and love scolding Mary for being so wasteful. “That oil could have been sold and the money given to the poor.”

“The poor you always have with you, but you do not always have me.” ~ John 12:8

Today as we have reached the halfway mark of Holy Week may you be able to find a quiet place to sit and think of the 180 degree separation of betrayal and unconditional serving love. May you always love like Mary and have the strength, compassion and heart of Jesus to forgive the Judas’ in your life. May the walk of Jesus help us to be more concerned with savoring the beautiful moments that we will always have with us, rather than be sold to the pressures of the world’s treasures that will pass.

Wishing you peace & love,

Terri O’Neill-Borders



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